» Child Custody

My Unconventional Custody and Visitation Beliefs

Exchanges of children for visitation are stressful for parents and stressful for children, no matter how well the parents get along with each other and no matter how much the children love both parents. Parents and children may be uncomfortable at the beginning of the visitation and near the end of the visitation. Having fewer visitations for longer periods reduces this problem. Midweek visitations of a few hours should be eliminated and replaced with longer summer visitation. Summer visitati… Read More

My Most Important Factor in Child Custody Cases

As a lawyer and a mediator, my first question of a litigant in a custody case is “Do you love your child so much that you can treat the other parent with dignity and respect?” They always answer “yes” but frequently act otherwise. Treating the other parent with dignity and respect not only benefits the child, it benefits the parent who will have a better relationship with the child, will avoid contentious and expensive litigation, and will most probably achieve a better result.

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Why I Enjoyed Thanksgiving, a Visitation Discussion

My three children, their spouses, and seven grandchildren were here for Thanksgiving so of course I enjoyed the holiday. I had special moments and memories with each over the weekend.

Why the children were here rather than somewhere else goes back to the late seventies when their mother and I were going through separation and divorce. We initially had the then typical visitation schedule that alternated holidays with Christmas starting December 24 on even-numbered years and December 26… Read More


Thomas F. McDow

Any time I ask, “why”, the least satisfactory answer is “Because that is the way we have always done it.” I want to know why that is the way we have always done it.

Today’s question is why do lawyers always begin affidavits “Personally appeared before me __________ who being first duly sworn deposed and stated under oath as follows…”? The jurat, which is the “sworn to and subscribed before… Read More

About The Authors

Thomas F. McDow's Profile Image
Thomas F. McDow is the author of Debating SC Family Law, a blog devoted to discussing family law and appellate court issues in South Carolina. Read More
Erin K. Urquhart's Profile Image
Education: Spartanburg Public SchoolsWinthrop University, B.A. 2003University of South Carolina, J.D. 2006 Admitted: All South Carolina courts and the United States District Court for South Carolina, November 13, 2006 Professional Activities: South C… Read More

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Recent Comments

These are very helpful comments. I am starting a similar newsletter in WV for my clients and potential clients. Getting the clien...

John B on 03/02/2017
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I am well aware of this conundrum. That's why I called it "When you absolutely cannot or will not hire a lawyer (for your divorce)...

J Burton Hunter III on 12/28/2016
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I agree! Unbundled would be a great help to people like me. I tried to get lawyers to assist me with specific parts of the process...

Nanette Stevens on 12/27/2016
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I haven't followed this thread for awhile. By far the best option is an experienced lawyer who cares about you and your family. Se...

J Burton Hunter III on 12/27/2016
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I absolutely love this discussion on this subject. Involved in a divorce and forced to represent myself due to lack of funds and n...

Nanette Stevens on 12/27/2016
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